Motherhood

I should never have loved you
like a mother   or wanted

to take the sweets away:
You’ll ruin

your dinner     or grocery shopped
and cleaned house with only

two hands   rubber gloves   sponges
or charged trips we took

to credit cards with small limits:
that Valentine’s

motel    no pool
netted cheap black lingerie    stilettos

disabled fire alarm   pizza   pills
I was too young for motherhood

too much drinking   too many
drugs   not enough eating    sleeping

too much sleeping    not enough laughing
unfinished homework    driving

to school    home from school
seldom fucking    it took

cocaine to get a sensuous touch
to my muff    the amphetamines

kept your cock soft    as if
having sex with the canal

you came through    attached to
the womb where you incubated

I gave birth to a six-foot baby
I’m barely       five feet

I held you like her
your arms     a noose

your limbs    limp
too weak to stand

I carried you all the way.

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